YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread. 2009

[Paddy Tobin]

Some religious humour passed on to me from a friend in the USA.

Paddy

[Paddy Tobin]

Continuing. Hope there is nobody who takes offense at humour directed at religion. No offense is intended.

Paddy

[Lesley Cox]

Not ofended at all Paddy, but then, I'm one of those who don't exist I like the pig one best.

[Paddy Tobin]

Lesley,

I always considered myself an agnostic but now I am not so sure.

Paddy

[Martin Baxendale]

Lesley,

I always considered myself an agnostic but now I am not so sure.

Paddy

I like the one about the insomniac, dyslexic agnostic who kept waking up in the middle of the night wondering if there really was a Dog. (hope no-one takes offence at the dyslexic bit. If so, I'll happily remove this post).

[Anthony Darby]

He's the Scottishness test:

Are you Scottish? ........... You know you are a true Scot if...........


Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty () and Aufurfuksake.
Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
Ye measure distance in minutes.
Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.
Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.
Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin
clarty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget
And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, 'Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?' 'Naw,' replies the butcher. 'It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[Lesley Cox]

It's possible I'm an agnostic Paddy. I'd know if I knew exactly what an Agnostic is.

[Luc Gilgemyn]

Wonderful stuff Paddy !
You gave me a great laugh to start the day with ii 

[Carol Shaw]

He's the Scottishness test:

Are you Scottish? ........... You know you are a true Scot if...........

The naturalisation programme obviously worked on me 

[David Shaw]

I think I'll go 95.5%.
Particularly like the story at the end, Anthony.

[Paddy Tobin]

Anthony,

I'd certainly score 90% +. There's a lot of similarities between Scottish and Irish speak.

The calor gas under the holiday home is the perfect picture.

Paddy

[Luc Gilgemyn]

There's a lot of similarities between Scottish and Irish speak.


Paddy

I agree Paddy - I understand neither... 

[Anthony Darby]

There's a lot of similarities between Scottish and Irish speak.


Paddy

I agree Paddy - I understand neither... 

[Maggi Young]

Many of us are not as young as we were... or would like to be, but the elderly can still get out and about..... look at this photo I was just sent...
For all who appreciate the outdoors . . .

the rarely photographed

South Florida Squirrel.

Retired!   

[Luc Gilgemyn]