YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread. 2009

[Ragged Robin]

In my goody SRGC tote bag I had my copy of the Rock Garden 123 July 2009 waiting for the moment to be read!  Well, in a car park, whilst my other half was busy in the DIY place, with sun spilling in the window I read it from cover to cover - what a happy time was spent enjoying the articles and photography, each so different and full of information, and in particular to already have some idea of who all these wonderful Forumists are who convey their enthusiasm through every turn of the page - thanks to all the contributors and I'll be happy to be stuck in a car park anytime with such a good read 

[Arykana]

Hello, hope you all suffer from my absence!! 
I am over on 2 exhibition, several author reader meeting /I have got paints and draws from the children, they are so cute!! you can see them http://arozsaesasarkany.lapunk.hu/?modul=galeria&a=57314/ and an operation!! Good to be here again

[Lesley Cox]

Erika, we all suffer when a loved Forum member leaves us for even a short while. It's good to have you back. An operation can be very traumatic but I hope all is well now and you are, or soon will be, in the very best of health.

[Arykana]

Thank you!! 

[Paul T]

Eriak,

I hope the operation was a success and that all goes well from here.  Welcome back.

[Ragged Robin]

Welcome back to your Forum home, Erika, wishing you well and looking forward to your postings - the children's art work is wonderful and full of good spirits 

[maggiepie]

Hi Erika, glad to see you back. The children's art is wonderful.

[Ragged Robin]

I'm really happy with the new page drop down menu - terrific addition and much easier to find things - thanks to who?

[Maggi Young]

I'm really happy with the new page drop down menu - terrific addition and much easier to find things - thanks to who?

Handy, isn't it? Joakim's idea and Fast Fred who implemented the new feature at top speed!  Sometimes I know exactly why there are those burn marks in Fred's flooring.... he can be faster than a speeding bullet!

[Lesley Cox]

Yes, Thanks, Joakim, Maggi and Fred. It's a great help and saves so much clicking and waiting. Good work.

[Paddy Tobin]

Can't figure out what you are talking about. Can you enlighten me?

Paddy

[Maggi Young]

Can't figure out what you are talking about. Can you enlighten me?

Paddy

Paddy, look at the bottom left hand side of the page...... there is a new button, which allows you to choose any page to go to in a particular thread. Previously there were only a few page numbers showing as an option to click to, so if the thread was at page 47 and you wanted to read page 23, it was a long chore to click enough times to get you there by hops of a couple of pages at a time.... now you just type in the page number and off you go!

[art600]

I thought these were too good not to share 

Particularly like the last one 

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
Published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
Were actually taking place.
_____________________________________

 

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS : We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,

he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby ) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!

____________ __________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY; How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different

attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

____ _________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to

rephrase that?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him!

______________________ ______________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[Michael J Campbell]

Brilliant.   

[Ragged Robin]

particularly like the last one

me too