YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread. 2009

[Ragged Robin]

Is it related to the Quangle Wangles's Hat? 

[Maggi Young]

Will have to "google" that to know for sure, Robin, but I'd say, since  the ebullient Bette is our much loved Honorary President, that it is more likely to be closer to the HP's Sauce.

[Maggi Young]

Filthy cold wet day here in Aberdeen, so I was greatly sheered by this list of mis-prints sent to me by my brother-in-law, Bill, a man who can be relied upon to share a good joke.....

 Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?  

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

This one I caught the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny. 
 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
      No crap, really? Ya think? 



---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers   
       Now that's taking things a bit far! 
  ----------------------------------------------------------- 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over    
       What a guy!   
---------------------------------------------------------------   

Miners Refuse to Work after Death  
 No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 
------------------------------------------------------   

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   

See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
  ---------------------------------------------------------- 

War Dims Hope for Peace 
 
 I can see where it might have that effect! 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  

   Ya think?! 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures   

      Who would have thought! 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------- 

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
   
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges   

      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 
  ---------------------------------------------------------- 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  
 
     He probably IS the battery charge! 
----------------------------------------------   

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  
 
Weren't they fat enough?! 
-----------------------------------------------   

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
 
That's what he gets for eating those beans! 
 ---------------- ---------------------------------   

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks   

       Do they taste like chicken?
**************************************** 
   
Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half    
       Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 
 *************************************************** 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors   

       Boy, are they tall! 
 *******************************************   

And the winner is....
 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead    
   
     Did I read that right? 
*************************************************** 

[Ragged Robin]

Wet and miserable here but with a list like that I'm smiling, neigh laughing, with all this horsing around  

Mined boggling what people find when they they unearth these gems  

Thanks for the funny side of the day Maggi you are the life and sole of the Forum when it comes to anything fishy   

[art600]

I am sure a lot of people will remember the originals.

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits.

They include;


Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker.
Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip?
Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face.
Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver.
The Commodores - Once,twice,three times to the bathroom.
Marvin Gaye - Heard it through the hearing aid.
Procol Harem - A whiter shade of hair
Leo Sayer - You make me feel like napping.
The Temptations - Pappas got a kidney stone.
Abba - Denture Queen
Helen Reddy - I am woman hear me snore.
Leslie Gore - It's my procedure and I'll cry if I want to.
     And my favourite...
Willy Nelson - On the commode again

[ranunculus]

Obviously a connoisseur of 'our' music, Art ... as was your mate Dan at the conference (Dylan and Cohen tour t-shirts displayed on the same weekend)?!!   

[mark smyth]

Arykana, grapes from your garden?

[art600]

I thought these deserved a wider airing.

"In Honour of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods .......


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down - (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." - (talk about a news flash)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." - (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)


On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)


On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)


On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.  Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)


On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."  (..I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)


On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)


On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."  (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)"

 

[annew]

 

[ranunculus]

Many thanks to Tony Willis for his excellent lecture; 'Two weeks in Chile' which he presented to the AGS East Lancashire Group last evening.

[annew]

And to Cliff for his fantastic photos shown to the West Yorkshire group last Saturday!

[Maggi Young]

.... and fond thanks to Brenda and Alan Newton for taking such good care of the BD (and Trevor and Angie Jones ) when they visited for the Ponteland show and the talk Ian gave to their Group yesterday..... and for sending me a goody bag from the Best Butcher in the country!!  

[ranunculus]

And to Cliff for his fantastic photos shown to the West Yorkshire group last Saturday!

Many thanks Anne ... and congratulations on winning best exhibit at the show held on the same day!

[Lesley Cox]

and for sending me a goody bag from the Best Butcher in the country!!  

Chocolate coated sausages Maggi?

[Paul T]

Ewwwww ..... Lesley!!