Television in 2010

[David Nicholson]

As it is the Festive [God help us!!] Season Maggi might excuse my adding this thread and I apologise for it not being particularly inclusive to those lucky, unlucky enough not to be able to get the BBC. To those, I can only offer my heartfelt sympathy and extend to them an open invitation to use these pages to malign their own national broadcaster. Of course, I am sure that there will be those who disagree with my own choice and will wish to enter their own 2010 BBC tele-visual delight.

Given that the BBBC now appears to believe that the entire audience has the brain of an amoeba and the attention span of a gnat I have been trawling through the festive edition of the Radio Times to see what visions of delight are to be put before our eyes in 2010

SRICTLTY COME GARDENER'S WORLD:

Where a bloke with all the charisma of my gardening gloves and a pretty lass with frizzy hair and an irritating laugh are challenged- by a bloke who used to be both a gardener and a Yorkshireman, but now sees himself as a sex symbol specialising in the more mature members of the female of the species, and also pronounces the word "Castle" with an "r" between the "a" and the "s", and an aged former comedian- to see who can tango fastest down a row of peas. The audience is then invited to telephone (at their own expense) a panel of judges likely to include Her Majesty the Queen, Sarah Raven (are they not one and the same!), Albert Pierpoint (for younger members of the species he was the last British hangman and surely wouldn't have been under employed today!) a bloke who reads the News, and a gardening chappie from Scotland who presents a programme called "Multi Coloured Sock Shop" who then decide which members of the audience are to be taken outside their own living room window and shot

[Lori S.]

 

[maggiepie]

Oh David, how wonderful it sounds
Betcha there's an american or canadian version out before too long.
There's no escape from reality tv apart from the off button on the remote!!

[Maggi Young]

A terrifying  prospect.... I do hope Simon Cowell isn't reading this or we're in BIG trouble. 

It cannot be denied there is a fair amount of mayhem in the midst of our national broadcasting corporation.... here is a photo from Today's BBC Radio Scotland Programme......at least one of the "models" is suspiciously recognisable from David's programme suggestion.....

[Gwenblack]

Poor David,   Cheer up,     it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice.   Think positive. All this frost and snow is working wonders reducing the overwintering aphid population and encouraging plant life to take a well earned rest. As far as TV is concerned there is always access to the OFF button and precious time to read a good book even if you have to head off to Waterstones in lieu of Borders.
  Have you ever seen a portly dachshund snowploughing its way through 10" of fresh snow with nose up at one end and tail at t'other? When it reaches its limit of snow tolerance,  it reverses all the way back down its tracks   That's fun too. Best wishes

[Gwenblack]

Maggi,   so that's where Santa's absconding elf went!

[Maggi Young]

Gwen,you give us another suberb idea for a new programme.....
" Canine's do the Funniest Ski Sunday Ministry of Silly Walks".... where viewers win £1.50 for sending in videos of their dogs' most amusing methods of progressing across deep snow...... perhaps not got the Franchising possibilities of David's proposal but popular in many places, methinks!

[Maggi Young]

Maggi,   so that's where Santa's absconding elf went!

 'Fraid so... there was shortbread and mulled wine on offer.... much more tempting than making toys!

[David Nicholson]

Poor David,   Cheer up,     it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice. 

Not unusual for me Gwen, at this time of year!! I was going to add in the Moan thread that I take the view, and I'm certain it would be shared by Martin Rogerson and Michael Campbell, that anyone over the age of seven seen outside the environment of their home or other secure establishment/institution, in a Santa Claus hat should be hung, drawn and quartered. But, I hadn't seen Maggi's picture then.

[Michael J Campbell]

 

[mark smyth]

I dont like Strictly Come or Dancing On but I love Dance Like Michael, Got to Dance and the other programmes featuring street dancing.

[Maggi Young]

Poor David,   Cheer up,     it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice. 

Not unusual for me Gwen, at this time of year!! I was going to add in the Moan thread that I take the view, and I'm certain it would be shared by Martin Rogerson and Michael Campbell, that anyone over the age of seven seen outside the environment of their home or other secure establishment/institution, in a Santa Claus hat should be hung, drawn and quartered. But, I hadn't seen Maggi's picture then.

 Well, The BBC qualifies as an Institution, I suppose...... certainly a great many of the employees warrant certification of one kind or another.

[johnw]

Given that the BBC now appears to believe that the entire audience has the brain of an amoeba and the attention span of a gnat

You may substitute BBC above for CBC in Canada.  The rednecks in power nationally have done their best to pound the final nail in the CBC coffin.  Interviews of notable personlities by one George Strombolopolos are reminiscent of the morning after rantings of a flatulent hungover college quarterback.  CBC Radio has fared no better - repeats every few hours and CBC2 our sole source of classical music (read Canadian Brahms Corp), well if I hear one more daily performance of a Brahms Piano Concerto I will screech, though weather and pork belly price reports between movements make for a welcome though brief relief.  One announcer hoping to draw a younger crowd introduced a Bruckner Symphony with a comparison of the boehemian life of Anton Bruckner with that of Freddie Mercury. It's come to this.

Frankly that tango in the pea patch sounds better.

God David I feel better already.

johnw

[Maggi Young]

I dont like Strictly Come or Dancing On but I love Dance Like Michael, Got to Dance and the other programmes featuring street dancing.

I think these assorted Dance programmes are very popular.... someone I know who runs a Dance School says all her classes have lots more applicants nowadays.... she calls it the "Strictly Factor"   but there are kids looking to learn all types of dancing ,which has been rather less in demand of late.

[Paddy Tobin]

David,

Have you not heard of books?

Why watch television?

Paddy