Moan, moan, moan - 2014

[Jupiter]

As satisfying as it would seem to blast the cockatoos to bits john, I don't actually hate them. I just want them to go into the bush where they belong and stay there! It's not even an option. We don't have guns here in Australia without a good reason, and in a populated area like this you wouldn't dream firing a shotgun. The police would turn up very promptly.

Pat you're right, it's very bad for the birds and there are lots of examples of sick birds here. They get a kind of mange disease and look really revolting.

[Maggi Young]

Get a shotgun!

 
Tempting a proposition as that may be  as an remedy for my neighbours who built a huge ugly extension (that makes the Great Wall of China look like an apprentice project) overlooking my terrace  I expect  it's as illegal in Australia as it is here in the UK.

[Maggi Young]

Folks are tracking the cockatoos : http://cockatoo.wingtags.com/

[Anthony Darby]

When I lived in Callander (Perthshire, Scotland) in the early 70s, our local dentist, who lived in a large stone villa around the corner from us, bred ducks and geese in his garden. His house, like others in the street, had a rather large garden. He boasted that he'd shot 200 collared doves from his sitting room with a .22 rifle. They were trying to pinch the duck feed. He could have easily netted the garden.

[Anthony Darby]

Irritation of the day: the oxymoron "vanilla bean". Beans are either bean shaped (e.g. coffee bean) or come in pods, and the beans inside are bean (kidney) shaped. Vanilla pods are not bean shaped and contain no beans inside, so why has some idiot coined the name "vanilla bean" when "vanilla pod" already exists!?

[Jupiter]

I hear you Anthony. I have quite a large Vanilla planifolia growing in our bathroom, which is yet to flower but the parent plant from which the cutting came did flower and I was involved in an attempt to cure the pods, which was at least partially successful. It did smell vanillary, just not very strong.

[David Nicholson]

Irritation of the day: the oxymoron "vanilla bean". Beans are either bean shaped (e.g. coffee bean) or come in pods, and the beans inside are bean (kidney) shaped. Vanilla pods are not bean shaped and contain no beans inside, so why has some idiot coined the name "vanilla bean" when "vanilla pod" already exists!?

Thanks for that Anthony I've renewed your membership of the BOF's Club for another year. Here's a few of the issues that have concerned me today: Tourists; Caravans; BMW's; Volvos; British Telecom; The Commonwealth Games; Elderly ladies who can't make up their mind if they want tea or coffee; Their elderly husbands who try to carry a tray in the same hand as their walking stick before depositing tray and contents over my feet; David Cameron, who is surely to blame that there are only two roads into and out of Devon; Motor Homes; Young ladies in highly coloured cars who firmly believe that they are the only ones on the road; My local garden centre who yet again have no JI No. 2 (or 3 come to that) but do have vanilla cookies.

[David Nicholson]

Oh, forgot. Cyclists particularly the one out in front who thinks he's Nibile and the rest are the peloton and the normal rules of the road are suspended.

[Anthony Darby]

 
Here's another: Air New Zealand advertising holiday flights to Rarotonga on sale for $269 ONE WAY. I suspect you can't actually buy a one way ticket to Rarotonga! No doubt cost of the return flight is the one that makes you fall off your seat! I even see ads on the backs of buses for a particular Opera in Sydney, followed by the Auckland - Sydney airfare (one way). Are you supposed to stay there?

[Martinr]

Are you supposed to stay there?

Was this a personalised advert???

[Peterwg]

My sympathy about cockatoo depradations.   In my garden they steal all passionfruit before they are ripe, and remove the seeds from all the citrus fruit, leaving bits of peel, half shredded oranges and shredded seed coats all over the lawns and garden.   They used to annoy a neighbour by stripping the fruit from his pecan tree.   A flock of about 30 used to fly in about 4pm and put on a show of stealing the nuts, accompanied by screeching and aerobatics.   My neighbour had an air rifle and routinely fired a few slugs (very illegal, but apparently inneffective against cockatoos) at which they all flew off screeching like banshees.   But the following morning at about 5 am they would all arrive in absolute silence, gorge themselves for about half an hour and decamp without a sound, only to repeat the performance day after day, until the crop was gone.   Solution: remove tree!   It worked - now they raid my garden instead.

[arillady]

You poor thing Peter. At least they are in the trees and not in the irises.

[Anthony Darby]

Was this a personalised advert???

If I tried to buy a one way ticket to Australia they would send for the Spanish Inquisition. I don't qualify.

[Gerry]

Shooting them would be much more fun

When I lived in Callander (Perthshire, Scotland) in the early 70s, our local dentist, who lived in a large stone villa around the corner from us, bred ducks and geese in his garden. His house, like others in the street, had a rather large garden. He boasted that he'd shot 200 collared doves from his sitting room with a .22 rifle. They were trying to pinch the duck feed. He could have easily netted the garden.

[Anthony Darby]

I received some seeds wrongly labelled: two packets of Gynandriris sisyrinchium spelled two ways - Gynadriris and below it Gynanriris on the list of seed. I emailed the Ministry for Primary Industries to explain the error to them, which would have been spotted had they noticed the two versions of spelling, or just put sisyrinchium into the MAF list. I heard nothing so emailed them again this week. This was their response!

"Thank you for your email.
 
I must apologise to you, it appears that the email dated 10 October was erroneously placed in the actioned file, when in fact it was a pending item.
 
As a result it wrongly appeared in our record as if we had no communication from you, and as a result the seeds were destroyed after 28 days (as is the normal practice).
 
We regret that this has happened.
 
I have forwarded this email to the Supervisor of MPI at the Mail Centre for his attention on Monday.
 
Regards," 

Muppets!