Moan, moan, moan - 2014

[David Nicholson]

1: Celery
When I was a boy celery had white stems because it was grown properly (stems were covered with a paper 'overcoat' and were then earthed up) and stems were blanched. Today it's always green and tastes of nothing at all. Report of conversation today in local supermarket between greengrocery deputy manager and miserable old f**t (yes, it was I!) MOF: do you have any proper celery please? GGDM: it's there on the bottom shelf sir. MOF: that's not proper celery the stems on proper celery are white not green. GGDW: that's how our customers like it sir. MOF: Oh. When did you ask them them, or is it that you screw the farmer's down to the last penny and they can't afford to grow it properly on the pittance you pay them? At this point GGDM quickly finds he is needed behind the scenes.

2: Broken tills 
Are you, like me, fed up of seeing notices on non-working tills saying "This till is not working at the moment because of a technical problem" Close observation this afternoon carried out by your reporter, MOF, of the situation in a branch of that up-market purveyor of undergarments etc., whilst Mrs MOF availed herself of some of that company's stock. Till is not working because of aforesaid technical fault. Supervisor turns up followed by a till worker. "You can go on that one" supervisor says. And it happens, and technical fault is suddenly cured! Not only that but supervisor then takes away till worker from adjacent till and replaces till worker by broken till notice. When supervisor is next in vicinity MOF poses question "Do I take it that "technical problem" is a euphemism for " we haven't enough staff because we are screwing down staff costs in order to be able to pay exorbitant dividends to shareholders"? Supervisor looks 'daggers' at MOF and stalks off. Result: MOF 1. Knicker purveyor 0.

[Michael J Campbell]

 
Didn't think I would get a laugh today.

[johnralphcarpenter]

......in a branch of that up-market purveyor of undergarments etc......,

Not the one with an ampersand in its name? It is six years since Jeremy Paxman said that their undergarments no longer provided the kind of support required by the British male. I agree, bought some recently and it is rubbish; so much so that I have sent it back to the Chief Executive with a short note containing my comments; await reply with interest.

[Maggi Young]

Michael, you might know that with David in one of his "phases"  there's usually some fun involved -
good that the forum has brought you  a wee laugh at a tough time - we're thinking of you   

[David Nicholson]

Didn't think I would get a laugh today.

Thinking of you Michael and if I've helped a tiny bit for a tiny portion of time then I'm very pleased.

[Lina Hesseling]

If this was facebook, I would like you all three: Michael, David and Maggi!

Lina.

[fermi de Sousa]

If this was facebook, I would like you all three: Michael, David and Maggi!

Lina.

Lina,
Some of us like them even though we're not on FB!
cheers
fermi

[mark smyth]

Can we have some rain please!

While I'm enjoying the sun and heat, 16.6C today, the plants in the front garden aren't. They're wilting

[drtd]

Take some of mine, please! :-D

[jandals]

Yesterday , my wife's car started running rough then eventually gave up the ghost . Because her car is less than a year old we had it taken back to the Subaru dealership on a salvage truck . Pictured below is one of the problems . There were 5 others . At least they were not eating my seeds!!

[ichristie]

Hi Steve, is this the new Turbo mouse power,  cheers Ian the Christie kind

[Maggi Young]

I know that we complain that everything costs more money these days - but this seems a ridiculously expensive mousetrap even if Subaru's are  multi-purpose vehicles........

[jandals]

Nice one Maggi !! I will pass that on to my most illustrious leader .

[zephirine]

Maggi, I love you!  Thanks for this morning burst of laughter!

[Maggi Young]

   Zephirine  « Reply #6 on: Today at 05:54:25 AM »

Thanks for this morning burst of laughter!

My goodness Zeph, I am astounded that you are able to read at that time of the day, let alone laugh    This is a time when I am turning over and thinking there is still plenty of time for another dream and more snoring!