Scottish Rock Garden Club Forum
General Subjects => General Forum => Topic started by: David Nicholson on December 20, 2009, 08:31:10 PM
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As it is the Festive [God help us!!] Season Maggi might excuse my adding this thread and I apologise for it not being particularly inclusive to those
lucky, unlucky enough not to be able to get the BBC. To those, I can only offer my heartfelt sympathy and extend to them an open invitation to use these pages to malign their own national broadcaster. Of course, I am sure that there will be those who disagree with my own choice and will wish to enter their own 2010 BBC tele-visual delight.
Given that the BBBC now appears to believe that the entire audience has the brain of an amoeba and the attention span of a gnat I have been trawling through the festive edition of the Radio Times to see what visions of delight are to be put before our eyes in 2010
SRICTLTY COME GARDENER'S WORLD:
Where a bloke with all the charisma of my gardening gloves and a pretty lass with frizzy hair and an irritating laugh are challenged- by a bloke who used to be both a gardener and a Yorkshireman, but now sees himself as a sex symbol specialising in the more mature members of the female of the species, and also pronounces the word "Castle" with an "r" between the "a" and the "s", and an aged former comedian- to see who can tango fastest down a row of peas. The audience is then invited to telephone (at their own expense) a panel of judges likely to include Her Majesty the Queen, Sarah Raven (are they not one and the same!), Albert Pierpoint (for younger members of the species he was the last British hangman and surely wouldn't have been under employed today!) a bloke who reads the News, and a gardening chappie from Scotland who presents a programme called "Multi Coloured Sock Shop" who then decide which members of the audience are to be taken outside their own living room window and shot
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;D ;D ;D
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Oh David, how wonderful it sounds :o :o :o
Betcha there's an american or canadian version out before too long.
There's no escape from reality tv apart from the off button on the remote!!
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A terrifying prospect.... I do hope Simon Cowell isn't reading this or we're in BIG trouble. :P
It cannot be denied there is a fair amount of mayhem in the midst of our national broadcasting corporation.... here is a photo from Today's BBC Radio Scotland Programme......at least one of the "models" is suspiciously recognisable from David's programme suggestion..... :o
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Poor David, Cheer up, it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice. Think positive. All this frost and snow is working wonders reducing the overwintering aphid population and encouraging plant life to take a well earned rest. As far as TV is concerned there is always access to the OFF button and precious time to read a good book even if you have to head off to Waterstones in lieu of Borders.
Have you ever seen a portly dachshund snowploughing its way through 10" of fresh snow with nose up at one end and tail at t'other? When it reaches its limit of snow tolerance, it reverses all the way back down its tracks That's fun too. Best wishes
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Maggi, so that's where Santa's absconding elf went!
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Gwen,you give us another suberb idea for a new programme.....
" Canine's do the Funniest Ski Sunday Ministry of Silly Walks".... where viewers win £1.50 for sending in videos of their dogs' most amusing methods of progressing across deep snow...... perhaps not got the Franchising possibilities of David's proposal but popular in many places, methinks!
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Maggi, so that's where Santa's absconding elf went!
'Fraid so... there was shortbread and mulled wine on offer.... much more tempting than making toys!
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Poor David, Cheer up, it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice.
Not unusual for me Gwen, at this time of year!! I was going to add in the Moan thread that I take the view, and I'm certain it would be shared by Martin Rogerson and Michael Campbell, that anyone over the age of seven seen outside the environment of their home or other secure establishment/institution, in a Santa Claus hat should be hung, drawn and quartered. But, I hadn't seen Maggi's picture then. :P
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I dont like Strictly Come or Dancing On but I love Dance Like Michael, Got to Dance and the other programmes featuring street dancing.
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Poor David, Cheer up, it soundeth as though thou hast a serious attack of the festive season miseries and/or jaundice.
Not unusual for me Gwen, at this time of year!! I was going to add in the Moan thread that I take the view, and I'm certain it would be shared by Martin Rogerson and Michael Campbell, that anyone over the age of seven seen outside the environment of their home or other secure establishment/institution, in a Santa Claus hat should be hung, drawn and quartered. But, I hadn't seen Maggi's picture then. :P
Well, The BBC qualifies as an Institution, I suppose...... :-\ certainly a great many of the employees warrant certification of one kind or another.
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Given that the BBC now appears to believe that the entire audience has the brain of an amoeba and the attention span of a gnat
You may substitute BBC above for CBC in Canada. The rednecks in power nationally have done their best to pound the final nail in the CBC coffin. Interviews of notable personlities by one George Strombolopolos are reminiscent of the morning after rantings of a flatulent hungover college quarterback. CBC Radio has fared no better - repeats every few hours and CBC2 our sole source of classical music (read Canadian Brahms Corp), well if I hear one more daily performance of a Brahms Piano Concerto I will screech, though weather and pork belly price reports between movements make for a welcome though brief relief. One announcer hoping to draw a younger crowd introduced a Bruckner Symphony with a comparison of the boehemian life of Anton Bruckner with that of Freddie Mercury. It's come to this.
Frankly that tango in the pea patch sounds better.
God David I feel better already.
johnw
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I dont like Strictly Come or Dancing On but I love Dance Like Michael, Got to Dance and the other programmes featuring street dancing.
I think these assorted Dance programmes are very popular.... someone I know who runs a Dance School says all her classes have lots more applicants nowadays.... she calls it the "Strictly Factor" but there are kids looking to learn all types of dancing ,which has been rather less in demand of late.
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David,
Have you not heard of books?
Why watch television?
Paddy
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Why watch television?
Cos' you can do it curled up in front of a fire...... with your eyes closed 8)....... try that with a book... it doesn't work!
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Back to David again I'm a great amoeba fan and think you malign the beasts . At least they don't charge about soccer fields spitting as they go and getting paid phenomenal amounts. Pleas note I do not say earning huge amounts If I see one more soccer player pollute the pitch I'LL SPIT. Bring back the dinosaurs H sapiens has has his day. I feel better now that's off my chest!!!
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As for Gardeners World get Carol to present a real gardening programme. We had a brilliant gardening programme back in the day called How Does your Garden Grow? Two days filming in one garden with the gardener leading an old guy around talking about the plants. No mini cams but bulky ones on 'train' tracks. I wrote in asking if they would remake the series showing the back now and then. They didnt bother replying
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Oh dear, there seems to be a certain degree of disillusion and even cynicism among senior Forumists. This is the season of goodwill to all, gentlemen, even the BBC so get out the whisky bottles and forget about the prats who think they entertain us. I plan to have a sandwich on Christmas day then do some weeding, weather permitting. Though I am for hanging, drawing and quartering those involved with TV programming. (Hanged, David, not hung.)
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Thank goodness we have more than one telly. I can watch cricket or a documentary in peace, although, I must admit I did watch Cranford last night. As for radio, I listen to Radio 3 in the car. You can do that on the interweb elsewhere. SKY annoys me, with its constant interruptions for adverts during the cricket or tennis. I don't watch council telly (ITV) for the same reason, and for the fact that it is mindless rubbish of the worst kind, catering for people who don't have two brain cells to rub together (cf X Factor - a rather poor karaoke competition).
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X Factor - a rather poor karaoke competition
but it's makes people millions. Did you watch the choir competition?
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David,
Have you not heard of books?
Why watch television?
Paddy
Paddy,
I shall enjoy reading the 2 volumes of the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson, and eagerly await the third volume in the New Year. 8)
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We had a serious debate in our house about ditching the TV rather than going digital. In the end we inherited a second-hand freeview box BUT the TV is in the coldest room in the house. The warm room is full of books. It needs serious persuasion (and thermal undies) to get me in front of the telly. And there isn't much to tempt me these days.
I'm with Paddy - keeping warm with my books.
Never mind the Turkey - Stuff the Telly!
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People slag TV but there are brilliant natural history programmes on every night on SKY
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People slag TV but there are brilliant natural history programmes on every night on SKY
And the BBC - LIFE When the BBC puts its mind to it, it can produce unmissable programmes.
I also enjoy the Family History programmes - Who Do You Think You Are - have helped with my own family investigations. Will try to spend some time over the holiday period filing the data.
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Maggi... talking about funny walks, I'd offer if I dared a video of my Lord And Master[ Him upstairs in his study] tramping along on 12" yes 12" of snow in our driveway with his snow shovel and knee high sheepskin boots trying to keep a supply route open without slipping on his posterior. All the borders and beds in the garden have disappeared... it looks very tidy. Glad I don't have to work for GPO.
Re TV Have you noticed that the adverts are often better quality than the programmes Love the Bell's Whisky one with the bagpipe playing dog. Hope the east coast is still open for business
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With Sky+ you can whizz through the ads and make a 1 hour programme 45 minutes
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I've no doubt there are good programmes on - the little boy in me has enjoyed James May's Toy stories, and I always watch Later with Jools Holland. But the actual proportion of all programming that I would consider watching is miniscule.
I used to enjoy watching wildlife documentaries but after seeing several in a row which heavily featured blokes with chainsaws & bulldozers (....yes we KNOW habitat destruction is a BAD THING, OK? Now show us the bl**dy wildlife please....) I generally stopped watching them. At least the David Attenborough series try to inspire us with wonder to love the natural world around us rather than hammer the message home, and probably do more good in the process. Maybe working in environmental science I regard watching the more preachy style of documentary as being too much like being at work ;)
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X Factor - a rather poor karaoke competition
but it's makes people millions.
Robs people of millions under false pretences. Why is it that we celebrate mediocrity?
People slag TV but there are brilliant natural history programmes on every night on SKY
I totally agree Mark. Anyone see the Australian one on Darwin?
Did you watch the choir competition?
Not much of it. I sing in two choirs and certainly don't like the way this was gone about. Music speaks for itself. I don't like the happy-clappy stuff.
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Why do people sound so surprised when Carol and I tell them we don't have a television? :o The reason we don't want one is being adequately explained in this thread!
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Reply to Darren The magic of wildlife films palls when you have to watch a delightful herd of pygmy elephants in Borneo, two with seriously wounded legs from snares and a half grown one with its trunk in a snare. Shame on Homo sapiens I had to turn off the TV I do agree that the cameras concentrate too long on some presenters and deprive us of the animal shots
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We had a serious debate in our house about ditching the TV rather than going digital. In the end we inherited a second-hand freeview box BUT the TV is in the coldest room in the house. The warm room is full of books. It needs serious persuasion (and thermal undies) to get me in front of the telly. And there isn't much to tempt me these days.
I'm with Paddy - keeping warm with my books.
Never mind the Turkey - Stuff the Telly!
:) We've just abandoned TV rather than going digital and enjoying the freedom! I've been increasingly bored by nature programs in recent years, but still get a thrill from a safari around the garden or local area....
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You'd need to have a good torch at this time of year to see anything in my garden after 3 p.m. 8)
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You'd need to have a good torch at this time of year to see anything in my garden after 3 p.m. 8)
That late? ;)
You should try the combination of moonlight and snow - a favourite evening pastime here is a moonlit cross-country ski...
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4.08pm and there are birds on my feeders
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Gwen - thank you. That kind of summarises my feelings - wildlife films started to make me angry and depressed. I'm enough of a misanthrope already!
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And belatedly agreeing with David, I'd knock there silly flipping hats off with snowballs......now that's what I call festive spirit :-X
Yours, the forum chief humbuger (number of 'g's reduced to avoid offence!)
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It would not be Christmas without plenty of repeats, would it. ;D ;D ;D
Eric
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.................. (Hanged, David, not hung.)
You're right of course Lesley. They always say the old ones are the best and boy is this old.
Teacher to pupil: John Smith your grammar needs attention.
Pupil to Teacher. She was OK when I 'phoned her this morning Miss.
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Speaking of TV programmes, Remember the good old days, when documentaries were about the subject, not the presenter? I can't stand watching documentaries these days.
Another soapbox moan is that these presenters/personalities always have to tell you what you are going to see in the programme, padding it out for fifteen minutes before you get to watch the same thing again. Drives me round the bend.
And you have to be really quick with the flipper at the end of a programme if it is continued or you see half of next weeks' episode in advance.
Film4 carry this practice one stage further, with a voice of God telling you all about the film before it starts now. Seems they have to tell you the whole plot before they can risk letting you watch it.
And lately Aunty has started using dodgy Panorama programmes to create news, saves money I guess.
Pretty well anything I watch these days I tape so I can fast forward the dross.
Maybe I should have posted this in moan moan moan. Please move there if you think it appropriate, Maggi.
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Sorry David, I'm getting really titchy/bitchy about such things nowadays. Grumpy old woman! >:(
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no need to guess what is on again over Christmas for the millionth time. It about time they dropped said programme and insert a new one
Not many moons ago I'd be out clubbing over Christmas and new year boogying all night sleeping all day
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It would not be Christmas without plenty of repeats, would it. ;D ;D ;D
Eric
You can say that again!
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no need to guess what is on again over Christmas for the millionth time. It about time they dropped said programme and insert a new one
Not many moons ago I'd be out clubbing over Christmas and new year boogying all night sleeping all day
Need to give us a clue Mark. Christmas didn't use to be Christmas without The Great Escape. Now we just have to stay at home!
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It would not be Christmas without plenty of repeats, would it. ;D ;D ;D
Eric
You can say that again!
You want to get a better cook/chef.......... ;D
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We'll all be looking forward to sprouts.
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Morecambe and Wise Christmas special
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Not many moons ago I'd be out clubbing over Christmas and new year boogying all night sleeping all day
It's called getting old Mark ;D On Saturday morning between 6 and 8am a number of my Market customers were breathalysed, on the assumption that they were on the way home from a night out. ???
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And how many more times must we endure the 'Vicar of Dibley' Christmas special?
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Lesley,
We have 'Dinner for One' every New Year's Eve...... EVERY NYE. EVERY!! It was quite amusing originally, still is slightly if one gets tipsy enough. ::) Given I very, very rarely drink alcohol it has somewhat paled in enjoyability. :-\