Scottish Rock Garden Club Forum
General Subjects => General Forum => Topic started by: Colin on November 10, 2010, 08:11:51 PM
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Dib Dib Dobbies - The effect of Scouting upon Horticulture
Border Forks - Vol.1 The Roxbuirgh & Selkirk Influence
Vol.2 - Hawick Variations
Hoe Hoe Hoe - Garden Tools as Christmas Gifts
Propagation - Is it Spreading?
Dibbers Thru The Ages
Comment: Just some seasonal silliness - discuss
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;D ;D ;D
My brain is stirring!
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Border Forks - Vol3. Junction of A68 and A698 at Jedburgh
A bit too subtle? Perhaps I should attend AA anonymous?
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Cookery for Gardeners by Dahlia Smith
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Colin, I expect there are "celebrity gardeners" working on those very titles right now!!
One title that has already been written... and published, is "The Garden Owner's Survival Guide" which is just out from Forumist, Cartoonist, Author and Galanthophile (not necessarily in that order) Martin Baxendale.
Martin explains to puzzled partners, confused colleagues and restless relatives just how tricky a thing it is to have charge of a garden..... he also gives clear instructions, helpfully illustrated , on various handy machines and technigues that might usefully be employed by the garden owner in his or her pursuit of peace, quiet and a few tasty vegetables.
All this is done with Martin's expected humour and I can surely recommend it as a gift for garden owners, keepers of a pot of basil or a much loved window box.... any of the aforementioned puzzled partners, confused colleagues and restless relatives ..... or even to cheer yourself up. After all, the holiday and gift giving season is about to burst upon us with all the subtlety if a gatling gun so why not get ahead of the game....... ISBN 978-0-9562398-1-5
I think you will be able to source the book from all sorts of places....
www.tesco.com
www.wynr.co.uk/details.php?isbn=0956239811
www.whsmith.co.uk
www.amazon.co.uk .......
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Colin.... I find myself making a list of all these titles, to seek them out when printed.... I really MUST have ..... especially the cookery book by Dahlia Smith..... a must for Chef Ian the Bulb Despot's birthday! ;D
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Maggi
I'm glad you have entered into the spirit of the thread.I am sure this silliness must cheer us all up ?
especially when we have 80mph gales forecast for us here in North Wales tonight.
It'll probably mean tying down more than our kangaroo.
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'Mountains we have yet to conquer' by Eve Rest & Anna Purna
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'The Puffin Book of Penguins'
'The Penguin Book of Puffins'
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Colin.... I find myself making a list of all these titles, to seek them out when printed
Don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for the new book about people who use spuds for contemplation Medi-tators.
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'Hybrid Pinks' by Diane Thuss
'Poppies of the Dolomites' by Ray Etticum
'Cobra Lilies' by Harry Saema
Enough ... enough ... enough!!! ::)
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Enough ... enough ... enough!!!
don't believe that for a minute, Mr B ::)
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"Plants I have killed" by A. Gardener!
"To Dream the Impossible Dream. Growing Blue Poppies in Canberra, Australia" by any gardening enthusiast residing in the aforementioned city! ::)
"Multi-stacking your garden. The comprehensive guide to getting approval to build a 15 story carpark on your suburban block, exclusively for use as a gardening facility". Ok, that last one probably needs a little work on the title, as it is a tad longer than would likely fit on the front of any book. ;D Chapters include : The effective creation of support pylons without damaging your existing garden; Which "grow lights" should you be using for most effective growing conditions; Wind turbines, and how they can generate the power to run 15 stories of artificial lighting; and lastly.... Dealing with neighbours that complain they no longer have any sun due to the shadow created by your 15 stories of garden (alternative chatper title could be something along the lines of "Blood and Bone for your garden, where to source it!". ;)
I could continue!! (but won't..... you can stop cheering now! :-[)
I'll stop now.
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A world famous dendrologist wrote a book but:
He didn't know his ash from his elm.
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"Glowing Bulbs" by Humphry Davy. :P
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That one will leave some in the dark, David! ;D 8) You're a mine of information.
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That one will leave some in the dark, David! ;D 8) You're a mine of information.
My canary liked it :P
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Fed up with book titles? Try TV
Comfreyfile - Hemerocallsdale - the very obvious Carnation Street - As Thyme Goes By
Childrens TV - Saxifraggle Rock
Would that I had something better to do with my time!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Is this the way to Amaryllis?
Dungeness - Composts of Kent
Last of the Woolami Pine
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The Garden Rake by William Hogarth
Planting by Numbers by Carol Vorderman
The Alpine Flora of Lincolnshire
The Forester's Guide to Orkney
Gullible Travels by Joe Swift
Recycling Garden Material by Alan Titchmarsh
Orchid: a childhood in Liverpool
A Life in Gardens by Vanessa Atalanta
Bedding plants by Warren Beatty
Moonlight Gardening and the Black Economy
Gardening, me and peat by Katie Price
Sledging in Gardens by Sydney Brisbane
The Coconut: once bitten, twice shied
Cushion Plants by Laura Ashley
Reading palms: the Greening of Berkshire
Journal of Plant Sensibilities - Study 19: Hops, are they bitter?
Famous Belgian cyclamen
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Unbeatable, Frazer ... unbeatable!!
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Every one a little gem ;D
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Brilliant!
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Could I add:-
Cape Blubs: A Life in Tears. by Batman
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'Yew' by Nancy Mitford
'Gardening by Intelligent Design' by Richard Dawkins
'The Ethics of Hanging Plants'
'The No Garden Expert' by Dr J K Hessayon
'The Altitudinal Range of Norfolk Plants'
'Weed or Pot' by Dr Timothy Leary
'Heavy Water Gardening'
'Notes from the Garden: the musicality of plants'
'The Glasgow Bottle Garden'
'Queue: A British Icon'
'How to achieve garden perfection: Stage 1: pruning your lawn'
'Cuttings: a pensioner's tour of the botanic gardens of Britain'
'The Self-raising Flower Garden' by Sarah Raven
'The Complete Guide to Planting Garden Companions and their Relatives'
'Gardening in a Bottle' by Lilly Pution
'Joe's Windowsill Garden' (BBC Books) with a foreword by Alys Fowler
'How to Create your own Windowsill Garden' (BBC Books) by Joe Swift with a foreword by Alys Fowler
'Herbs for the Windowsill' (BBC Books) by Jekka McVicar with a foreword by renowned windowsill expert Joe Swift and as an afterthought Alys Fowler
'The Illustrated Guide to Plants for the Windowsill' (Dorling Kindersley)
'The Easy Care Windowsill Garden' (BBC Books) by Alys Fowler
'The Complete Windowsill Gardener' (RHS)
'All you need to know about the windowsill gardening' (Book Bargain/The Works) by Lance Hattat
'The Windowsill Garden Expert' by Dr J K Hessayon
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Just too wonderful ....
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Let us not forget:
Iraqui Alpines by Sedum Hussain
Gunnera and other Plant Diseases
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'Mesopotamia: the shed in winter'
'Easy Plant Nomenclature: a rose by any name'
'Bulbs for Shady Gardens:Tulipa halogenia'
'Striking Plants' by Bob Crow
'Celeriac Intolerence'
'The Pop-up Book of Germination'
'No Celery for Amateur Gardeners'
'Crossing the Rubicon and other Hybrids'
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Oh, please stop it I hear you cry ...
'Lateral Gardening' by Verbena and Edward de Bonoariensis
'The Lost Gardeners of Heliconia'
'Tulips for Whistling'
'The Windsor Knot Garden'
'The Pond Skimmia Championship'
'Garden Highlights with Vidal Sassoon'
'Lavatera Humour' by Susan's son, Frankie Boyle
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No, no, it's hilarious Frazer, addictive even ;D
'The Pop-up Book of Germination' is on my Christmas wish list especially if Martin B virtually volunteers to do the illustrations ;D
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Pansies - The Mandelson Strains
Myosotis - a History of Short-Sighted Plants
Horticultural Opposites Series:
Unila Inula and Outala
Hypericum & Lowpericum
Campanula and Butchanula
Dianthus, Dicentra and other Welsh Alpines
Hlarious American Alpines by Jerry Lewisia
Windowsill Gardening - The Lintel Years foreword by Alyssum Fowler
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Obviously should read Inula and Outula
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What a cracking thread this is ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D etc.
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'Buttercups on the Web' by Eva Present
'Nuts, Drupes, Peas and Leeks' by Max Anguish
'To be or not to be?' by A.P. Iarist
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Meganopsis - The Welsh Poppy
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Cliff,
I particularly like "'To be or not to be?' by A.P. Iarist. Brilliant! ;D
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Colin,
If you want to get into Horticultural Opposites, how about ....
"Acer pseudo-platanus and Platanus x acerifolia. Which one is the evil twin?" by A. Scientist
Always good for a mixup in naming. ;D
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I've just finished reading
"Woodland Plants Of The Sahara" by Mustafa Screwloose
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Ah, that's the companion book to..
"Xeriscapic Plants of the Amazon Basin", isn't it?
Also..
"Tropical Plants of Antarctica" was another good title.
Mr Screwloose was a prolific author as I recall, although sometimes he used his real first name of Indigo, under the name I. M. Screwloose! ;)
8)
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'NARGS - A BOOK DIVIDED - IN THIRTY CHAPTERS'
'Morning has broken' by A.M. Asunder
'Greensleeves' by The Anti-Handkerchief Sect
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Ewwww. Cliff!! :o
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Ewwww. Cliff!! :o
Squeamish, Paul? :D
'Tulips & Lithops' by M. Jagger
'Fossils' by K. Richards
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Brittle Street Trees - by Timberrrrrrr Press
Many more of these at www.shadydealsnursery.com (http://www.shadydealsnursery.com)
Worth a look through their book and plant lists.
johnw
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Absolutely hilarious, John, and I've only had timw to read a small amount of it (mainly the disclaimers and directions at the bottom of the page, as it happens). Brilliant! ;D
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'Thrift: a plant for our times'
'Dimorphism: a History of the Changing Face of Welsh Gardeners'
'The Stepford Chives'
'The I-Spy Book of Gardens' by Cubby Broccoli
'Ireland's Garda' by Iris Stew
'Wok Gardening in Szchuan'
'Plant Genetics and Watch Them Grow'
'Dombeya and Sons' by Charles Dickinsonia
'Polygala: breeding parrots for show'
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'My friends and other animals' by Eric Burdon
'Myosotis' by Mrs Redding
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'Hard Yucca: my life gardening in Australia' by SRGC contibutor Ferme La Porte
'The Pampered Grasses of South America'
'The Hot Border' by Lucy Fir
'Journal of Brazilian Transportation: Study 14: Macadamia - the ideal roadside plant'
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'Heeling Plants' by Dr. Achilles
'A History of Garden Plant Genetics' by Gee Gnome
'The Illustrated Book of Water'
'Bourgeous Hedgemony: the preponderance of suburban leylandii' by Gramsci
'Damping-off Old Gardeners'
'Which Elm?'
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This thread is really very funny.... thanks for all these giggles, folks!
Over 800 people given a laugh already, I see :D
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...apologies here are more original thoughts
'WWW: monogram of the giant orb spider'
'A Guide to Vertically Challenged Conifers'
'Propagation by Long Division'
'Raisin New Grape Vines in the USA'
'Cinder tracks and carbon cycles: a sporting anthology of mining life'
'Prison Grasses'
'Yam Tomorrow: Scottish Gardens and Global Warming'
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'The Garden Follies of Bergere'
'Forgotten Plants' by Al Zeimer
'The Complete Book of Gardening, Vol 2'
'Hortus Siccus: the Journal of the Dead Plant Society'
'Banzai for Beginners'
'The Bumper Book of Phrenology'
'Sunken Gardens of Venice'
'Plant, shoots then leaves: botanical grammer'
'High Tea Roses'
'Haughty Culture' by Nancy Mitford
'Zenophobia: the fear of Japanese tranquility'
'A Short Tour of the Falkland Flora' by General Gaultheria
'Journal of Garden History: Plate Tectonics and English Landscape Movement'
...please, enough already..
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...please, enough already..
'More please' by O. Twist
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'Random Planning - a Study of Programmed Spontaneity'
'Cyprepedium: The Limassol Shoe Museum'
'Houstinia - We have a problem'
'Syringia - Intravenous Plants'
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'Palms - The Care of' by Oli Ulay and Hans Fondle
'The natural preserves of the Marmolada'
'A History of Eggs' by Al Bumen
Clutch Handbags' by Art Dodger
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'Hanging Gardens of Basildon'
'The Dyslexic Gradneer'
'New York Windowsill Gardens - Alpines for the 38th Floor'
'What's Hot, What's Not & Who Cares' by Toby Buckland
'Cactusses ! - and other wee jaggy plants'
'Investment in Horticulture: The Deborah Meadon Project'
'Including Sempervivums in Wedding Bouquets'
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Shortia by Ronnie Corbett
Broons Vinegar-a Scottish culinary treat
Deal or No Deal by the Irish Government
and by the same authors Eur Having a Laugh
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;D ;D ;D
'Erica & Urn' by Morecambe & Wise
'Gentians' by Mcenery, Christie & Young et al
'Campanula' - the yearly Boy Scouts Jamboree
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'A Practical Guide to Gladiola Staking' by Dame Edna
'Controlling Pyrola' (Volume 2) by Ronnie Barker
'Aciphylla in Salads' by Martin Clunes
'Snowdrop Bouquets for the June Bride' by Martin Baxendale
'Planting Mixes for Galanthus in Eaves Troughs' by Brian Ellis
'A Guide to Exporting Horticultural Material to New Zealand' Vol.7 (posthumous) by anon (FYI dust jackets cannot be imported by NZ, AU & Tas customers)*
*Purchase the complete set of 7 volumes and we will send you the complete set of Scarlatti Sonatas on convenient 45rpms as an added bonus. (all F.O.B Wisley)
johnw
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'Ferns of Britton' by Phil Vickery
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'Rake Five' by Dave Rudbekia
'Carol Klein Bracht Music' by The Jardinieres
'1,2,3 - The Early Sythia Years'
'The Forthsythia Bridge Project'
'Tunnel Vision: The Journal of The Cloche Society'
'Garden Fashions - The Cloches Show'
'Garden Slang' by John Innit
'Garden Tennis' by John Hingis (N02 Seed)
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'Jazz in the Garden' by Daisy Gillespie and Thalictrum Monk
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'Jazz in the Garden' by Daisy Gillespie and Thalictrum Monk
we love it!
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Fritellaria - Collecting Battered Plants
More Garden Jazz with George Melittis, Artimesia Shaw, Count Beesia etc
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..oh, no, there's more....
“Canna Garden With Lilies: frustrations of a Glaswegian gardener”
“Terra Suspect: gardening in unsteady times”
“Naked Grecian Gardening” by G Ymno
“Wiki Leeks: the truth about Welsh allotment gardening”
“War on Peas” by Leo Tolstoy
“Malus Aforethought: planning an orchard”
“Journal of Evolutionary Science: The confusion of Biological Mathematics where division means multiplication”
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" The 1 Minute Garden " by Xavier Effert
" Impulsive Gardening in Fife and the Lothians " by Sally Forth
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Great! I thought it had all died a natural death. However....................
Dixterious - The Journal of The Handy Plant Society - edited by Christopher Lloyd
Cassopie in The Attic by Fergus Garrett
Any advance ?
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Friday Night is Muscari Night Hostad by Ken Spruce
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"One, Two, Three, Four!" by Count Basie
"Religion as Disease" by Sir W. Church Ill
;D
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"Medieval Prostitution in Russia" by Ivan Ho ;D
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Helleborus. Gordon Brown
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David. Well said. I like that a lot. He really is a heel of a bore and a boor and, alaa a fellow countryman!
Colin
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Helleborus. Gordon Brown
I wondered what he'd been up to since he lost power.... certainly haven't seen much of him in the House of Commons .... then today he turned up on the radio saying how nice it had been to spend time with his children. Quite so.... shame about his constituents though...... really, are ANY of the politicians in that game to help the populace? Moan moan..... :-X
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Agree with you Maggie. Although I am getting rather frustrated with all 3 main parties.. times they are a-changing and us old guys have to live with it I suppose.
Let's get back to wonderful irrelevant nonsense
Monty Don is coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hip Hip
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Political parties.... a plague on all their houses!
Monty Don is at least watchable... as, I suppose is Mrs de Thame.... who it must be said wears well for a woman nearly 50 years old..... she said, without a hint of jealousy...... :-X
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There are a few TV lady gardeners who are easy on the eye but which one would you prefer to ask for advice? Probably the answer would be Mrs Klein!
Garden Mews - Journal of The Courtyard Garden Society
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'The Manicured Garden' by Anita Lorne
'The Illuminations of a German Community Garden: Where Many Hans Make Light Work'
'The Stiff Gardener' by Arthur Eytice
'Solace in an Ulster Garden' by I Malone
'The Easy Guide to Large Lawn Maintenance' by Rhoda Mower
'Jamaica Garden and 1001 Other Wifely Jokes'
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Continuing the political theme-
Terrible Thymes. The Liberal Democrat Party.
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Green Side Up - A Practical Guide to Laying Irish lawns
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;D ;D ;D
I think our Irish friends will take it in the spirit it was meant.
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I think our Irish friends will take it in the spirit it was meant.
Bushmills? I would not know as I am Teetotal ::)
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I think our Irish friends will take it in the spirit it was meant.
Bushmills? I would not know as I am Teetotal ::)
Ah! Michael, may the angels look after you, and indeed me too by allowing me to drink your share ;D
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Here we go again..............
The Gourd Life
A Piece of Cake - Easy Gardening in Dundee,Madeira and Battenberg . Edited by V.Sponge
Delights of Portugal - Gardens of The Agave
and one I couldn't resist without a horticultural tag:
Look Back in Angus - A Dundee Childhood.
I doubt whether some of our overseas friends will be sifficiently aware of our geography to get this.
(There will deinfitely be some in Uk who won't get it)
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Look Back in Angus - A Dundee Childhood.
There is of course that other seminal play, though set in America
'Cacti on a Hot Tin Roof'
but to return to books:
'Green fingers and verdant palms: the handy guide to gardening'
'The Wild Garden' by General Mayhem
'Lettuce Rest: a history of gardeners' retirement homes'
'Biennial Gardening' by Toby Buckland*
'Garden Sage: the wisdom of herbs'
'Astigmatism: short-sighted but not lacking a style'
'Ode to the Dandelion' by William Wordsworth**
'The Cemetary Garden' by Paul Bearer
'Pick your own weeds: a history of failed horticultural enterprises'
* Apologies, that is cruel; I thought he was well-worth more than two seasons on the show.
** Following the success of his 'To the Daisy' (and yes, that's true!)
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Auriculated Trailers and other garden transport
Espalier and Pollarding from the Horticultural Torture Series
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;D ;D ;D
Keep 'em coming chaps.
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Famous Italian bridges: From the Ponte Vecchio to the Pontederia.
Imposters: Are some of your plants plants?
My years with the Dalibarda in Tibet.
Polystichum: The latest wonder glue.
Ferns for your water garden: A guide to the genus Wetopteris.
The New Native Plant Encyclopedia: from Zanthoxylum to Americanum
Anonym(o)us and Euonymus: Shining light on some little known plants.
Andromeda and other star plants.
Music in the garden with Triodanis.
Wild Canadian Plants:
Part 1: How to stalk and capture them
Part 2: How to persuade them to breed in captivity
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;D ;D ;D
Keep 'em coming chaps.
.... and chapesses too. A good start Kristl.
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;D ;D ;D
Keep 'em coming chaps.
.... and chapesses too. A good start Kristl.
David,
I was going to make some witty comment about the *chaps* as well....but I do actually realize that more men, in fact, are likely to post in this thread....now why that is, and what it means that I did post here, I dare not touch.....
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;D ;D ;D
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...oh, no, they're back again...with apologies!
‘The Grapes of Wath: vineyards of South Yorkshire’
‘Jazzy Topiary Shapes ’ by George Shearing
‘Square Root Vegetables’
‘The Tree Stomp’ by Woody Herman
‘Maestro in the Garden – the apogee of British leylandii’
'That's Snow Garden' by S. Keymo
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..and a few more...
'Laurel and Hardy Plants for the Pleasure Garden'
'The Wee Garden - my own privvy paradise'
'Conker Gardening - How to overcome horticultural fears'
‘Bamboozled: a life of confusion in long grass’
'The Joy of Community Gardening' by Linda Hande
'Alright, Already: Instant Yiddish Gardening'
'The Completed Garden' by Gladys Over
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Flagged Iris by Anna Pavedyard
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Flagged Iris by Anna Pavedyard
Good to have you back on form! ;D ;D ;D But what's happened to Messrs Booker and Nicolson?
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...oh, no, they're back again...with apologies!
Don't apologise Frazer, your wit and intellect have brightened my day :)
especially like the Laurel and Hardy one. Their films and sketches are firm favourites of Darren and I.
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[/quote]
Don't apologise Frazer, your wit and intellect have brightened my day :)[/quote]
-actually Susan it has much more to do with a misspent classical education as my parents will attest!
Anyhow, some more that have just come to mind:
'Hedera Gabler' by Henrik's little sister, Ivy Ibsen
'The Perfect Garden Tilth' by Ray King
'The Courteous Gardener' by Hugo Furst
'Moonlight Gardening for the Soul' by Gladys Knight
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Flagged Iris by Anna Pavedyard
Good to have you back on form! ;D ;D ;D But what's happened to Messrs Booker and Nicolson?
;D ;D ;D
Sat here laughing but with an addled brain
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Flagged Iris by Anna Pavedyard
Good to have you back on form! ;D ;D ;D But what's happened to Messrs Booker and Nicholson?
Sat here laughing but with an addled brain
Sat here addled but with a laughing brain!!!
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I can vouch for the misspent classical education !
Parterre,Marterre and Babyterre by R.R.Hood and A.Wolfe
Thistles - The Partick Hybrids
Androsace - A Manuel Guide
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'A State of Phlox'
'The Children's Dot-to-Dot Book of Pointillisme'
'Okra Winfrey: My life beyond television'
'Metropolitan Orchard Techniques: Police Cordons'
'A Wheel in Barrow'
'A Snitch in Thyme - a study of Welch gardening'
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'Making Mountains from Mole Hills - the Garden Designs of Lilly Putt'
'Garden Reeds' by Paige Turner
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After 7 weeks I thought it time to round off the year with the first of our annual extravaganzas.
Therefore, ladies and getlemen, we proudly present:
DIG YOUR OWN -- A Musical Garden Soiree
Featuring
Herb and The Rockets (with excerpts from Salad Days)
The Courgettes - The Coirs (from Ireland) - The Tulips (from Amsterdam) - The Red Hot Chillies
The Band of The Irish Gourds (a bit if a squash but we'll fit them in)
The band will be playing arrangements by Count Basil, Dave Rudbekia and The Floral Art Society and will give the premier performance of special compostitions by J.Arthur Brewer and John Innes accompanied by The Levingtons and New Horizon
Readings from their new books will be given by:
Sarah Raven ' An Old Coat of Many Colours' and from 'Gloucestershire Gardens' by Rachel de Severn
During a special preview performance before an invited audience the following reviews were received:
Great to see a Musical Garden Event with Soul ...... Monty Don
What's Hot,What's Not, and all in 30 Minutes......Toby Buckland
Sensuous,balanced, intoxicating. Can't wait till Hidcot................Chris Beardshaw
Wock and Woll !......Joe Swift
Exciting.colourful, exuberant...........Carol Klein
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You know the term.... too much time on your hands? ;D ;D ;)
Well done Colin, Fraser, David et al. 8)
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Too much time etc.............. . Most of these 'popped up' during my last ascent of Everest or during last year's single handed crossing of the Pacific.
But............. no more....... that's it
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Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that can't be it. I use these for entertainment when there's nothing on the telly (which really means I use them a lot)
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Colin,
Don't stop on my account, I quite enjoy them. The "too much time" comment just HAD to be made though. ;D ;D
;)
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Paul, You are probably right - I may just have some time to spare.(Writing this while in orbit) Could be a New Year resolution - Do something more constructive with my time!! However a sense of the ridiculous keeps the spirits up (and passes the time!)
In any event, it all amuses David Nicholson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I rather think there is a lot of chuckling going on around the Forumists as we read these book titles....... really can't imagine why some of them are not already best sellers ::)
I would like to add, Colin, that your ability to multi-task is most admirable and I venture to suggest, typical of the fine skills possesed by Forumists! Such a talented bunch of folk, and no mistake. What a fine thing it is to be able to spread a little cheer and happiness in the world.... you can't better that for a skill in my, not even remotely humble, opinion! ;D ;) ;)
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........However a sense of the ridiculous keeps the spirits up (and passes the time!)
In any event, it all amuses David Nicholson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've spent nearly 68 years being rediculous but always appreciate any help I can get ;D
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Well said Maggie and David. Life can be so seriious. unncessarily. Keep a sense of proportion but with a
portion of humour on the side.
David I well remember my first 68 ridiculous years, before I hung up my rugby boots ( I hadn't used them for 30 years)
HAPPY NEW YEAR to all
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I picked up a book at Waterstones recently with, and I kid you not, the following title:
"1001 Gardens to visit before you die"
and I thought afterwards, as opposed to visiting them when?
Anyway back to the surreal world of gardening books....
'Plant Stunting in Japan'
‘To Asters and Other Electrical Appliances: An Appreciation’
‘Begin the Begonia’ by Coleus Porter
'May The Furze Be With You: memoirs of a gardening cleric'
‘Marsh Mallows and Toffee Apples: fun fare in the garden’
'Ryvita' by T. Rice and A Lloydia-Webber
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Iphion, and other dodgy plants
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Sedum, and watch' em grow.
Thymus and keep a record.
Salvia the Panama Canal.
Potentilla, those at risk of the flu.
Hieracium, Tibetan olympics.
American Phlox by Redneck Shepherd.
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“Joe Swift’s Complete Book for Garden Composting”
‘Sports Brassicas’
‘Brussels’ snouts: the expenses culture of MEPs’
'Aloe, Aloe'
'It Started with Gravel: memoirs of a rock gardener'
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'Ashes to Ashes: fidelity in plants'
'The Pine Dresser'
'Yule like it but not a log - The Paul Daniel's Christmas Album'
'Quick Growing Fruits: High Velocity Currants'
'Hard Graft: my life on M1, M2 and M16'
'Ebagum: palindromes in un-Ilkley places'
'Pisa Cake: leaning to bake the easy Italian way'
'How to care for your Vine Weevil'
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See your brain still working well Frazer regardless of the close proximity to the New year celebrations. Can't say the same for mine though. Like the "palindromes" particularly ;D
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Palindromes, David? Are they the friendly cold frames for air plants?
have just watched Carol Klein's new programme. Don't talk to me about equality - a very middle aged man stands at the bottom of a 20 foot ladder whilst a 60 plus female tears a clematis from the top of a tree with her bare hands!!
Amazing. I can't even get a 60 plus woman to stand at the bottom of my ladder whilst I, at almost 75, climb the tree!
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.... and you thought this thread was dead!
"An Irishman's Travels in Southern South America" by Pat O'Gonia
"The Iris" by Dolland and Aitchison*
*Sure to fall as flat as a f pancake for anyone outside the UK ;D
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Would that be a fruit pancake, David? ;D
Love the Patagonian offering! ;D ;D ;D
.... and you thought this thread was dead!
"The Iris" by Dolland and Aitchison*
*Sure to fall as flat as a f pancake for anyone outside the UK ;D
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Absolutely brilliant David. The Iris etc
Off the horticultural theme, I've just picked by first XI to reprresent the footwwear manufacturers:
Grenson
Stead Simpson
Freeman Hardy Willis
Clark Dolcis Grenson Loakes Lotus
NB Only 9 of above are home grown players - well , it's a poor telly night!
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Would that be a fruit pancake, David? ;D
Love the Patagonian offering! ;D ;D ;D
.... and you thought this thread was dead!
"The Iris" by Dolland and Aitchison*
*Sure to fall as flat as a f pancake for anyone outside the UK ;D
You guessed Cliff :P
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Absolutely brilliant David. The Iris etc
Off the horticultural theme, I've just picked by first XI to reprresent the footwwear manufacturers:
Grenson
Stead Simpson
Freeman Hardy Willis
Clark Dolcis Grenson Loakes Lotus
NB Only 9 of above are home grown players - well , it's a poor telly night!
Nice one Colin, but I see the 4-4-2 system has passed you by ;D Yes it is a bad night on the telly the wife's down stairs watching Rosemary and Thyme for the umpteenth time. I just couldn't stand it anymore ::)
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Actually I'm a rugby man .I had to use the old system to get the pairings of Stead & Simpson and the
nice ring of Freeman,Hardy & Wills. But I guess you gathered that
Despite the poor telly I note that your wife, at least, retained a hoticultural bias to her viewing !!
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The King's Beech ?
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;D
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"Flowers of the Caribbean" by Wes Tindian
"Californian Flora" by the well known cowboy country and western singer with Irish ancestry Cal O'Chortus
Two barrel scrapers there!
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With illustrations by Trini Dadian
"Flowers of the Caribbean" by Wes Tindia
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;D ;D ;D
Not forgetting "Cape Bulbs" by Homeria Simpson ???
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A Scots Quair:
"Flora of the Outer Hebrides" by Ben Becula and Bernie Ray.
"Flowers of the Western Highlands" by Art Namurchan and Lee Athach (proof-read by William Fort).
"Monograph on Salix reticulata" by Ben Lawers
And as Burns Night is approaching:
"Flowers in the Poetry of Burns" by May Bole edited by Al Away
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Clever, Richard, you wee flowerin timorous beastie!!!!!
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Don't think Rabbie was too good with the one liners though? ;D
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Don't think Rabbie was too good with the one liners though? ;D
His chat up lines were legendary, though, if his reputation with the ladies is anything to go by! ;D
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Don't think Rabbie was too good with the one liners though? ;D
I think it was Ronnie Barker who alluded to the famous Jewish poet from Scotland, the Rabbi Burns! :o
And today is his anniversary!
Not Ronnie's ! ;D
cheers
fermi
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Rabbi Burns is catered for, fermi.....
http://www.thejc.com/community/community-life/43985/kosher-haggis-supplier-burns-enthusiasm .... we Scots are nothing if not accommodating.
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"we Scots are nothing if not accommodating."
could that be why his "chat up lines" were so successful??
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"we Scots are nothing if not accommodating."
could that be why his "chat up lines" were so successful??
I expect so! :o ::) ;D
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120 days eh? Time to relaunch perhaps. I know of 1 previous contributor who is getting the old grey matter moving. I await with bated breath. Surely there is mileage left chaps? Ranuncu,lus, David Nicholson etc etc
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Not gardening, but perhaps topical:
"Twitter ye not!" by Frankie Howerd updated by David Cameron
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Don't think Rabbie was too good with the one liners though? ;D
Where e'er ye be, let yer wind gang free.
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"Landmarks of Dorset: Chiselled Beech"
and by Shakespeare
"Trollius and Cressida "
"Titus Andromeda"
"A Midsummer Night's Bean"
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Going back a bit-"Aster Lavista" by The Lone Ranger
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'The I-SPY Book of Ophthalmology" by Cliff Booker :-X :( :P
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;D
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Welcome back, Cliff, David and Frazer. Let's get going!
A Little Light Gardening- Using energy saving bulbs
Mechanical Gardening Aids - No.1 The Hosta Trolley
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Why do I find myself wanting to make a list of all these titles with a view to creating a Gift list for Christmas? ::) ;D I can see almost every title as perfect for someone I know! ;D
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'Look Back in Anger' - The reflections of Wayne Rooney
'Pole to Pole' by W.A. Shingline
'Blood circulation simplified' by A.R. Tery
'Heart to Heart' by Christian Barnard
'Fancy gates' by G.A. Reth
'My Undivided Attention' by A. Cyclops
'Alpine houses and frames' - an undercover report
'Butterflies of Britain' by Admiral Peacock
Apologies.
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Apologies.
I should think so!!
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A thriller:
The Girl with the Violet Eyes by Iris Purpurea
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On a mountaineering theme;
Abseiling in Holland
Rock Climbing in Italy: Using ropes,pitons and carabinieri
The Monroes of Norfolk
God Alp Us - Swiss Mountain Retreats
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Abseiling in Holland
That title may not be so far-fetched in a couple of years ;D
http://news.discovery.com/earth/man-made-mountain-netherlands-110821.html
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Abseiling in Holland
That title may not be so far-fetched in a couple of years ;D
http://news.discovery.com/earth/man-made-mountain-netherlands-110821.html
What next? Icebergs on the Amazon? Surfing in the Sahara? Maggi declining chocolate? Bah, humbug!
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There's sand surfing at 90 mile beach (it's closer to 60 miles long) in New Zealand!
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'Computer viruses: sneezing by email'
'Why autumn?' by Adam [Ed. figure it out...]
'I'm Spartina'
'King Solomon's Seal' by Ribes Haggard
'Wet Stone Dyke: Wee Walls of Scotland'
and then there's that great UK radio programme for the 1960s:
'I'm Sorry I'll Weed that Again'
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;D ;D ;D
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'Aubergenealogy: the study of plant families'
'A Gentian!: plant hunting on military parade grounds'
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Was "I'm sorry I'll weed that again" written by Mr & Mrs Dworld's son wee Ken Dworld?
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Another devoted listener to "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" ;D
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Perhaps a book that could be written is: "Continuum Medicum Romanum"? It could contain such legendary quotations like: "You'll be happy and gay, on the Appian Way, with a chariot by Mad Marcus".
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'A Gentian!: plant hunting on military parade grounds'
Brian's response arrrgh.
He recommends
"Veni, vidi, vinca, The Advance of the Periwinkle"
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A recommended book for alpine growing football supporters ...
"Vetch fields" by S.W. Ansea
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'The Taller Acacias: the definitive plant monogiraffe'
'Tescophilaea: the super market genus'
'Compost my contribution to gardening' by Joe Swift [sic]
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'Gagea: an anthology of Roman jokes'
'Gagea lutea: stealing Roman jokes'
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One for the old 'uns:
'Cistus' by Babs, Joy and Teddie Beverley
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Frazer, you get my giggle reflex every time, Thanks!
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Just ordered a great botany book for my local cleric (he's a big succulent fan) who's off to the Canary Islands later this month:
'Sedum on Gomera'.
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'Frododendrons' - a little known gardening work - by J R R Tolkein
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Te He, many times ;D
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'You for a beer? and other mishearings in the garden' [Ed: Another book published for Christmas and remaindered on Boxing Day]
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"Castroturf: a study of Cuban grasses"
"Merry stems: the joy of cellular botany"
"The Wild Plant Guide: in Livid Colour"
"Harry Potter and the Deadly Marrows"
"Two branches against the sky: the ill-tempered gardener" [with apologies to Geoffrey Dutton]
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"Merry stems: the joy of cellular botany"
;D ;D ;D
I'll see if Julie will add this one to the reading list for the cellular biology module. ;)
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Perhaps another addition fo the cellular biology reading would be...
"Greenhood and his Merry Stems: Orchids in cellular biology"
Alternatively...
"Greenhood and his Merry Stems : How orchid propagation can relieve the rich of their money!"
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;D
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I think we really need an "A-Z encyclopedia of Dead Garden Plants"
This can then be used to help identify those corpses in the garden that no longer have tags. Makes it easier to work out what it is you have to buy a new one of..... but all those pesky encyclopedias only show them when they're alive, which is no point when you're trying to identify a dead one. ::)
8)
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I think we really need an "A-Z encyclopedia of Dead Garden Plants"
This can then be used to help identify those corpses in the garden that no longer have tags. Makes it easier to work out what it is you have to buy a new one of..... but all those pesky encyclopedias only show them when they're alive, which is no point when you're trying to identify a dead one. ::)
8)
They're called Herbaria, Paul! Any Uni has a decent Herbarium where you can see dead plants nicely pressed!
cheers
fermi
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Yes Fermi, but "nicely pressed" does not resemble the plant corpses we come across in our gardens and wonder what the heck they are. Half the time you can barely recognise which bits are which, let alone nicely pressed for comparison to the named and carefully catalogued items in herbaria. ;D "Nicely pressed" and "crispy critter" aren't very similar. ;)
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I think we really need an "A-Z encyclopedia of Dead Garden Plants"
This can then be used to help identify those corpses in the garden that no longer have tags. Makes it easier to work out what it is you have to buy a new one of..... but all those pesky encyclopedias only show them when they're alive, which is no point when you're trying to identify a dead one. ::)
8)
The easiest way to work it out Paul is list your plants by rarity or cost. The ones which have died are bound to be either really rare or very expensive. :-\ This should help you narrow it down abit. :) ;)
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'Cultivating bog plants' by W.C. Fields
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Susan,
Very true! Disturbingly very true!!!!! ::)
;D
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list your plants by rarity or cost
Fills me with confidence for the Calanthe someone pressed into my trembling hands on Saturday.
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Rob,
I was given a Calanthe (can't remember species) 18 months ago. Grew fine last year, and I thought it was OK, but never came back after dormancy. ::) I had it a bit protected so it should have been OK. Then there are orchids like Stenoglottis longifolia that you just wish others would grow like. ;D I can't complain really, I grow all sorts of orchids like Pterostylis, Diuris and Thelymitra without any problems..... I just want all the others I can't get like Ophrys etc. I've had Dactyllorhiza elata going in my garden for a few years now without a problem, but can't seem to get fuchsii going for some reason, it just dwindles out. You just can never quite know which one is going to go well with you and which one isn't. :-\ Then again that is half the fun of succeeding, isn't it. ;)
Good luck with the Calanthe. 8)
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Dactyllorhiza elata
Now I know what to ask for for Christmas ;D.
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Rob,
Unfortunately it has never multipled for me as yet, but it is now in the ground 3 years and flowers happily every year. I still regard is has happily established, even if not multiplying? Should it be multiplying?
I've also sprinkled Dact. fuchsii seed around it, in the hope that some might germinate. Remains to be seen what happens. Dact 'Harold Esselmont' is doing fine in a pot, but I have suspicions that it is actually virused due to some mottling when it emerges. It set seed as well, which I've sprinkled around in it's pot and around the elata as well. Whether they will ever germinate is another matter entirely. ::)
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Now back to titles..
"Mulch ado about nothing"
"History of the Nobel Peas Prize"
"The Gardening Raffia of Naples"
"Shorter Flowers and More Money: A history of the Bee Trades Union"
and useful advice
"Get a spade and don't heave loam without one"
and synonyms
"to plant (verb); to bury"
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Love these, especially the spade one. ;D
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Love these, especially the spade one. ;D
Yes, there's a lot to be said of a man who calls a spade a "manually-operated pedal-powered earth-inversion unit"! :o
;D
cheers
fermi
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Houstonia - Solving Problems
Don't Panic - Keep Kalmiopsis
See Saw Margyricarpus
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;D
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....and finally the books have been returned to the library and normal service has resumed after a delay of 9 months.
Just received:
"Mr Macgregor's Garden" by Peter Abbot
"The State of American Gardening" by Ida Hoe
"How to cloud-prune airplants"
"Say Hello to oleander" [Translated from the Spanish]
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nice to have them back ;D
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and with apologies to those with good sense...
'Umbertoeco: the name of that rose'
'Garden Well-being' by Newton Frogge
'The Spaghetti Tree: a monograph' by Dr. Olaf Lipro
'Rue the ideal roadside plant'
'Marigolds for sinks and troughs'
'Gardening oneself' by Manga Boo
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Marigolds for sinks and troughs reminds me of moving into my new house in 1986. My mum gave me a brand new pair of Marigolds still in their unopened cellophane packaging. The new house needed cleaning, especially the kitchen, so the the gloves were very handy. Not only that, there was free offer of a spice rack. Result! I started filling out the details on the form and then noticed the price on the packet was in £SD! The offer expired in 1967! :o
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Come on FrazerHenderson and Messrs Booker and Nicolson it's about time you re-entered the fray...
my contribution...
'The Yarrow March'
'Who's been eating my borage'
I read recently that Ryanair are now charging Horticultural Tours extra for lovage!
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Have we had 'A Short history of Thyme'; 'Macbeath' or 'Lovages Labours Lost'?
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"Surprising plants: Bamboo"
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'The Grapes of Cape Wrath'
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'Fatsia japonica: an irreverent review of Sumo'
'Caponise chickweed to control its spread'
'Japanese Knotweed: the root of all evil"