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Author Topic: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.  (Read 56679 times)

art600

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2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« on: January 06, 2010, 06:29:44 PM »
These made me chuckle whilst confined by this awful weather.  Thought they deserved a larger audience  8)

These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

18. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

19. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

20. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

21. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

22. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

24. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

25. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

26. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

27. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

28. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

29. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

30. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
 

Arthur Nicholls

Anything bulbous    North Kent

Paddy Tobin

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2010, 06:36:44 PM »
Ah Gawd, Arthur, that was good but it's hard to type with laughter tears running down my cheeks.

Paddy
Paddy Tobin, Waterford, Ireland

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art600

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2010, 07:27:10 PM »
When I finally made it to the bottom of my garden and into the bulb house, I was delighted to find an Anemone coronaria in flower - it was blue (but not from the cold  ;D).

Forgot my camera, but when I next venture out I will post a picture.
Arthur Nicholls

Anything bulbous    North Kent

Anthony Darby

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2010, 08:15:36 PM »
Judging by some of the terminology ("physical therapy"; "ER"; "airplane [isn't that a film?]) this selection originated from across the pond.
Anthony Darby, Auckland, New Zealand.
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution"
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art600

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2010, 08:29:45 PM »
I like to think the NHS has filters.....
Arthur Nicholls

Anything bulbous    North Kent

Roma

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2010, 11:07:28 PM »
More snow today.  Struggling to open gates when feeding ponies but......seeds from SRGC arrived today.  Nearly all first choices and some rarities including what looks like true Silene hookeri at last!!  I've listed the seeds, written names on the packets and written the labels.  I do have a bag of John Innes seed compost in the shed but it will be rather cold to handle and mix with grit so I think I'll postpone sowing for a few days yet.  There must be a foot of snow on the cold frame so it will be a while before I can get the seed pots in there.
Roma Fiddes, near Aberdeen in north East Scotland.

Lvandelft

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2010, 11:41:22 PM »
These made me chuckle whilst confined by this awful weather.  Thought they deserved a larger audience  8)

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.


How did YOU know this Arthur, never told you?  ???
Luit van Delft, right in the heart of the beautiful flowerbulb district, Noordwijkerhout, Holland.

Sadly Luit died on 14th October 2016 - happily we can still enjoy his posts to the Forum

Maggi Young

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2010, 11:53:17 PM »
More snow today.  Struggling to open gates when feeding ponies but......seeds from SRGC arrived today.  Nearly all first choices and some rarities including what looks like true Silene hookeri at last!!  I've listed the seeds, written names on the packets and written the labels.  I do have a bag of John Innes seed compost in the shed but it will be rather cold to handle and mix with grit so I think I'll postpone sowing for a few days yet.  There must be a foot of snow on the cold frame so it will be a while before I can get the seed pots in there.

I think you are very lucky, Roma.... the Seed Gang picked several hundred orders at the weekend, to be packed for posting, but I hear that the snow around the Bainbridges is dreadful and they are snowed in, I think, so I think you  have been most fortunate!
Margaret Young in Aberdeen, North East Scotland Zone 7 -ish!

Editor: International Rock Gardener e-magazine

Ragged Robin

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2010, 10:49:18 AM »
Lucky you Roma, it sounds like a very special delivery - it's good to have a growing project to think about in the cold winter days  :)
Valais, Switzerland - 1,200 metres - Continental climate - rocks and moraine

Lesley Cox

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2010, 08:17:02 PM »
My copy of Martin Baxendale's book, "The Snowdrop Garden" arrived yesterday from Amazon UK. It looks lovely with a beautiful snowdroppy cover but I'm saving it until I've finished my current batch of library book and the half dozen I bought at Christmas. It is very reasonably priced and the freight to NZ cost more than the book itself.
Lesley Cox - near Dunedin, lower east coast, South Island of New Zealand - Zone 9

Paddy Tobin

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2010, 08:23:01 PM »
I sometimes wish I had your restraint, Lesley. With me the latest book to arrive simply jumps to the top of the queue to be read. I do eventually get to the end of the waiting list.

Paddy
Paddy Tobin, Waterford, Ireland

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angie

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2010, 08:40:22 PM »
Roma good luck with your seeds. I remember seeing Silene Hookeri in one of the SRGC journal I think it was one of Cyril Lafong amazing plant. I thought I might do my meconopsis seeds next week . Getting a bit fed up with all this snow, I am itching to get going
I remember how much more work it was looking after my ponies when everything was frozen but I loved watching them roll around in the snow, they just loved it.
Angie :)
Angie T.
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Lesley Cox

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2010, 08:45:37 PM »
I sometimes wish I had your restraint, Lesley. With me the latest book to arrive simply jumps to the top of the queue to be read. I do eventually get to the end of the waiting list.

No Paddy, I savour each new book for a while, gradually building up to it. I used to keep Ian Rankin's for weeks before diving in, but the first he wrote after Rebus retired wasn't up to much, I thought, and I've got the next one on hold for the moment.

I've just discovered Laurie R. King, an American who writes new Sherlock Holmes stories. They're great.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2010, 08:47:26 PM by Lesley Cox »
Lesley Cox - near Dunedin, lower east coast, South Island of New Zealand - Zone 9

ranunculus

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2010, 09:05:57 PM »
I sometimes wish I had your restraint, Lesley. With me the latest book to arrive simply jumps to the top of the queue to be read. I do eventually get to the end of the waiting list.

No Paddy, I savour each new book for a while, gradually building up to it. I used to keep Ian Rankin's for weeks before diving in, but the first he wrote after Rebus retired wasn't up to much, I thought, and I've got the next one on hold for the moment.

I've just discovered Laurie R. King, an American who writes new Sherlock Holmes stories. They're great.


I've just started 'The Famous Five go to Kew'!   :D
Cliff Booker
Behind a camera in Whitworth. Lancashire. England.

Lesley Cox

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Re: 2010 YES!!! The "I'm so happy" thread.
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2010, 10:34:25 PM »
I sometimes wish I had your restraint, Lesley. With me the latest book to arrive simply jumps to the top of the queue to be read. I do eventually get to the end of the waiting list.

No Paddy, I savour each new book for a while, gradually building up to it. I used to keep Ian Rankin's for weeks before diving in, but the first he wrote after Rebus retired wasn't up to much, I thought, and I've got the next one on hold for the moment.

I've just discovered Laurie R. King, an American who writes new Sherlock Holmes stories. They're great.


I've just started 'The Famous Five go to Kew'!   :D
Who wrote that one Cliff? I must look out for it. An order to the local UBS sounds about right. ;D
Lesley Cox - near Dunedin, lower east coast, South Island of New Zealand - Zone 9

 


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