Scottish Rock Garden Club Forum
Bulbs => Galanthus => Topic started by: emma T on February 16, 2010, 07:01:01 PM
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Hi Mike ,will you be at Snape Cottage on Sunday ?
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Im quite shy as well but i find at the gala there was always a face i knew from this forum .
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Hi Rob,
I'm very shy and also I suppose young (34). I've spent the past few years staying in the shadows of the forum, feeling that I'm not really an expert and don't know if what I have to say is worth contributing. I'm just extremely passionate about plants particularly Galanthus, Erytrhoniums, Trilliums, Corydalis ..... I have found everyone very friendly though, I just need to get out of my shell and then you'll never shut me up!!!
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the vast majority of the groups I take on tours are made up mostly of the er... older generation ;) but that's true of most garden visitors, although groups from the US, Holland, Germany etc seem to be younger.
getting younger people interested is always going to be a struggle, getting them interested in a particular plant even more so, but I think that's true of most very specialist interests or hobbies, and by their nature tend to be quite tight knit, someone described to me a few years ago how they thought the snowdrop "scene" was divided into those who were inner & outer segments ;D
but I have to say all the contacts I've made over the years through my growing interest in Snowdrops have always been very friendly & welcoming, and very generous with their plants and time, the only grouchy people I meet this time of year are coach drivers who can't read maps ::)
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Rob,
you are not that shy at all,you have your photo with every comment you make.
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glad im not the only one mike! your right its very intense, and i think this galanthus cult has become allmost like a exclusive club, very tight nit and hard to get into! thats how it would appear. also becuase i am younger i also dont feel as welcomed as say a older person would be.
which is a shame becuase after all younger people are the future and if people like me dont continue this hobby then who will? surley all the snowdrop lovers in the world dont want the hobby to die out with them ???
I found most plants people very helpful and generous, especially towards youngsters like me but the trouble with snowdrops is that many are very expensive. So when money comes into play people seem to become rather warily and - at least in Germany - penny-pinching towards young folk. Perhaps ii is due the lack of experience, so we might fail with those treasures easier... ::)
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The only intense part of the Gala is the initial rush to the sales area. It's definitely not exclusive and definitely not hard to be part of. You only need to be only the mailing list. Smaller options would be the Cottage Garden Society day or East Lambrook if and when it comes back again. Everyone who goes to a snowdrop event knows no one. Eight or nine years ago when I went to my first Gala I knew only the person I travelled with. Now I know the sellers, garden owners and masses of people.
I'm sure others had the same experience.
Rob if only you had said "Hi, I'm Rob Emberson" I would have taken you to meet the other forum members
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getting younger people interested is always going to be a struggle, getting them interested in a particular plant even more so, but I think that's true of most very specialist interests or hobbies, and by their nature tend to be quite tight knit, someone described to me a few years ago how they thought the snowdrop "scene" was divided into those who were inner & outer segments ;D
Younger people prefer other hobbies instead of gardening because they all have their grandparents in mind growing veggies which is a bad connotation actually. The other point is the money again as all young people are always short of money: clothes, parties etc. that costs all a lot ( ;) ). Therefore no-one of them wants to spend any additional money on "grandparents' stuff" because they could be banned from their friends as well... ::)
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I am sure if you attend a few more snowdrop events Rob (I realise money is a consideration) you will soon get to know lots of faces, and as Mark rightly says, if you introduce yourself to one friendly face you will no doubt be introduced to others. We've all been through it at some stage in the past.
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Rob, Joe's 'Spring Thing' could be a day to attend
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I am sure if you attend a few more snowdrop events Rob (I realise money is a consideration) you will soon get to know lots of faces, and as Mark rightly says, if you introduce yourself to one friendly face you will no doubt be introduced to others. We've all been through it at some stage in the past.
It can be a bit daunting attending some of these events full of people who know everything, but lack inexperience.
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I'm a fairly reserved person and I used to be shy but as I got older I came to realise that I like meeting people and finding out about them and their ideas and opinions. I spoke to everyone on the forum who I managed to recognize and I would have loved to have spoken to Rob if I had recognized him or if he had introduced himself or if someone had pointed him out to me. The same goes for anyone else who reads this forum. The Gala can seem very cliquey but finding someone you know and can have a little chat with helps to overcome this. It can be daunting wondering what you will find to say to a stranger but the fact that we all share a common interest should make things easier. Something like "Have you seen the clump of Rosemary Burnham?" [which in fact I never found] would have been enough to break the ice at the garden. I myself was mightily impressed by a giant-flowered snowdrop labelled 'GC8' and went around suggesting other people take a look at it.
I also used to be shy about asking questions and expressing my ideas and opinions but one day it came to me that if it was something that I wanted to know then I didn't care if everyone else thought it was a stupid question. I subsequently found out that often the really good questions are the ones that nobody has quite dared to ask. So here I am now expressing my thoughts and the opinions on this forum despite being not nearly so expert as some of the other contributors. Even someone who is new to snowdrops may have learned something that nobody else knows or have an interesting snowdrop that nobody else has.
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Well said, Alan. It can often be hugely rewarding ...and FUN..... to make the effort to meet people and you are SOOOOO right about asking questions..... only thing stupid about that situation is if you wanted to know the answer and never asked the question ;)
Thinking about a situation that often has me in a complete muddle... this flippin' computer....you can get a problem, an "expert" can give you their answer.... but you still can't work it out.... often you need to ask the simplest/smallest of details and then all becomes clear... if you hadn't asked any question in the first place, you'd never learn anything.... and no-one thinks you're daft to ask, in fact the expert may be jolly pleased because you have highlighted a point that perhaps they overlooked, maybe because it is so second nature to them... but there may be a tiny stage in a process that they missed telling you about that threw the whole fix..... yes, it's always good to ask questions!
.......my next problem, of course, is trying to remember the answers! :D :-[
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Maggi, how come you have access to special emoticons and us "regular" forumists don't?
I appreciate the discussion here. I see new people occasionally at our local NARGS chapters, and there always seems to be a comfort level with the regulars that make it difficult for newbies to break into the inner circle. I first started at NARGS meetings when a mere teenager, and I was very shy at the time. I overcame that aspect (haha ;D ;D :P) and I liked to attend the large NARGS national conferences. Rather than sit down at a dinner table with people I was already friends with (although I did that too), I often thought it fun to sit down at a table with complete strangers, to see what conversation could be mustered, to get to know new people. And I did all this without using goofy avatars :D
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Maggi, how come you have access to special emoticons and us "regular" forumists don't?
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McMark, I have a deep rooted collecting streak, which manifests itself in 'pooter' land with a need to collect all sorts of gifs bmps pngs and such like, with which I pepper my posts! I save the darn things from where ever I find them.... you never know when they'll come in handy and often times, when addressing a multinational Forum audience... a picture ... or crazy smiley, can tell a 1000 words, get a point across.... wearing my moderator's hat.... clearly without offence and raise a smile.....
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they're as much a part of my posting as my chronic overuse of the exclamation mark....
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Looks like WonderWoman has been eating too many donuts & pizza slices!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---oops, one too many exclamMarks ;D
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Rather than sit down at a dinner table with people I was already friends with (although I did that too), I often thought it fun to sit down at a table with complete strangers, to see what conversation could be mustered, to get to know new people.
Yes, that's a grand method to meet folks and one that Ian and I often use at such gatherings.
Of course it's nice to meet up with old friends.... but it can be so interesting to meet new people.... after all, if you don't like them, you don't have to LIVE with them!
One time when Ian was the SRGC President, and he sat down at a table with some folks he did not recognise he thought the people seemed to be looking at him a bit strangely.... what's wrong, he said, were you keeping this seat for someone else? No, they said, but you're the SRGC president, you don't know us, we're just members..... he nearly fell off the seat at that....gave them a good talking too that no-one was JUST a member and that now they knew him and he knew them..... that was their first conference and they've been back to everyone since!
It can be hard at busy events for the Speakers or folks with , as we say in Scotland, "weel kent faces" to have time to chat with everyone when there are many demands upon your time other than just purely having fun.... but there's usually someone about who is happy to meet and greet and make you welcome..... stick with it, shy souls... perhaps all those other folk are feeling just as hy as you, only they are getting to know some folks and making the best of it!!
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Looks like WonderWoman has been eating too many donuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---oops, one too many exclamMarks ;D
Watch it! I'll have you know my hours here are long and engrossing so I may not eat as healthily as I would want....but I think I look pretty good in the costume and dark wig.....I admit that being pictured with the slice of pizza may have been a mistake.....
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Rather than sit down at a dinner table with people I was already friends with (although I did that too), I often thought it fun to sit down at a table with complete strangers, to see what conversation could be mustered, to get to know new people. :D
I'd think the residents would notice. ::)
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Hi Emma, yes I'm going to Snape on Sunday. I went over last Saturday to help Angela in the garden & really enjoyed it. I look forward to meeting you again, what time are you aiming to get there?
Hi Rob, I just knew what you were talking about & for me knowing someone else has the same feelings is very encouraging. I look forward to meeting the peeps on this forum at some future venue.
Mike
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Rather than sit down at a dinner table with people I was already friends with (although I did that too), I often thought it fun to sit down at a table with complete strangers, to see what conversation could be mustered, to get to know new people. :D
I'd think the residents would notice. ::)
???
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If whoever you sat down to dinner with were strangers, you would have to be an uninvited guest, (or else have just invited some random people in off the street). The former would be the cheaper option I'd go for. The scene in "National Lampoon's European Vacation" when the whole family bulldozed themselves into the wrong house and stayed for dinner (and the night) was really funny.
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If whoever you sat down to dinner with were strangers, you would have to be an uninvited guest, (or else have just invited some random people in off the street). The former would be the cheaper option I'd go for. The scene in "National Lampoon's European Vacation" when the whole family bulldozed themselves into the wrong house and stayed for dinner (and the night) was really funny.
That is a very funny scene in European Vacation.
The scenario I describe is different... attending a large NARGS conference (300-500 people) at a large hotel function room, at a lunch or dinner there are typically tables that will seat 8-10 people, one could rush to gather up one's friends to sit together, or as is so often the case, there are tables where people reluctantly sit together with people they don't know because there are only certain number of tables and seats, just the logistics of large group dining events. As a long time NARGS member I like to sit at these tables to help break the ice and meet new people.
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I hope you do come to a Gala again Rob , we can all be shy together :)
Angela Winfield at snape cottage describes the club within a club as inner and outer segments .
Snape Cottage is open on Sunday if any ones in Dorset.
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I'm sorry your experience of your first gala wasn't a happy one, Rob. I saw you with Joe but didn't recognise you or I'd have said hi (then again I'm terrible at recognising people and remembering names). I've been growing snowdrops for over thirty years and my parents for nearly 50 years, and I've been going to galas on and off for the last ten years or so, but I still only know a few people at the gala well enough to speak to them. Like you I'm not very outgoing and seem to make new contacts at about the rate of one per gala! Maybe it would be a good idea if people at the gala had badges? Please don't give up. I'm sure there aren't many people in snowdrop growing circles who haven't felt a bit excluded and unwelcome at some time or another. I know I have.
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Rob - Emma's right.
It's the outers who have the best time at these shows anyway. Keep in mind, for the most part, inners (inner circle) are decent folk too. I learned my lesson years ago and usually avoid the inners like the plague at these sort of events; they are stressed to the max - have usually been up for nights preparing exhibits, doing inventory, sorting what's decent to sell, preparing lists and catalogues, dealing with traffic, flat tires and regulations at the venue, missing tables, cash floats, trying to look pretty too despite the stress, doing retail to sell the stuff so they can eat next season. The inners are usually asked to sort out nomenclatural problems and judge too. And the public can be relentlessly demanding to add to their stress. Most have not eaten on top of all this. I might give them a nod if I know them but that's it. Amazingly a few can rise above it all.
Usually they return to normal on home turf and that's where to catch them.
So don't give up by any means. I was bashful once, I'm sure there are now those who wish I still were.
johnw
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Are already penty of events & shows but I would be happy to host a more "informal" meet here (Benington Lordship in Herts) next year if anyone is interested? no cost, no tickets, no sales tables ... ;) just turn up, cuppa cake & chat and enjoy the drops.
is a shame that anyone should ever feel excluded when there's a common interest & passion that everyone shares, but I do understand the nature of these things, I attended an event last year (nothing to do with plants) and was like a fish out of water ;) but it has led to me doing something I've always wanted to do.
just an idea, and if anyone ever wants to visit just let me know.
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Are already penty of events & shows but I would be happy to host a more "informal" meet here (Benington Lordship in Herts) next year if anyone is interested? no cost, no tickets, no sales tables ... ;) just turn up, cuppa cake & chat and enjoy the drops.
What a kind offer Richard - that sounds lovely. If others are interested I'll bring the cake!
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Tea and cake ;D im up for that
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If others are interested I'll bring the cake!
done ;D
I'll sort something out pre season next year to get an idea of interest/numbers, know it's a busy time of year for many but am sure It'll be easy enough to organise.
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The 'inner segments' have snowdrop lunches, which all sounds rather formal. I think the idea of an informal snowdrop tea-and-cakes is much better!
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Sounds a great idea Richard I'd love to come........ :)
Snowdrop tea & cake for people who don't do lunches.
Mike
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If I can make it I will be there Richard - tea and cake sounds a most excellent idea.
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excellent, plan will be to aim for 2nd/3rd weekend in Feb, I'll have to fit this around groups that book tours & teas & think it would best to aim for a mid/late morning start, it often gets very busy at weekends.
depending on numbers I might need to borrow the tea room but that shouldn't be a problem, should have a rough idea of bookings after xmas & will post here with more details nearer the time.
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You're very kind to do this for us Richard!
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Are already penty of events & shows but I would be happy to host a more "informal" meet here (Benington Lordship in Herts) next year if anyone is interested? no cost, no tickets, no sales tables ... ;) just turn up, cuppa cake & chat and enjoy the drops.
What a kind offer Richard - that sounds lovely. If others are interested I'll bring the cake!
And I'll eat it :)
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If I can make it I will be there Richard - tea and cake sounds a most excellent idea.
Do not worry about a driver :)
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Hmmm.... tea, cake and flowers..... sounds great..........
how MUCH cake?? ::) !!
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...and is it Chocolate 8)
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...and is it Chocolate 8)
There's another kind?
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YES! coffee!!
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Ground coffee?
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Ground coffee?
No, coffee CAKE.... coffee and walnut cake for preference.... our favourite! ;D
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Ground coffee?
No, coffee CAKE.... coffee and walnut cake for preference.... our favourite! ;D
And mine 8)
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barely a mention of a snowdrop 8)
important to have priorities, I promise there'll be plenty of cake ;D
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barely a mention of a snowdrop 8)
important to have priorities, I promise there'll be plenty of cake ;D
Exactly what I thought reading all the above... I thought this was about snowdrops ... ::) ???
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Richard, Luc, don't worry, we've seen the photos of how lovely the Benington Lordship policies are, so we know the 'drops will be fab, it's the cake provision we need to be assured of! ;)
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Ooooooooo, coffee & walnut ma favorite ;D
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:P
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sorry the thread got hijacked a bit, wasn't my intention ;)
as this is a year away I wont mention cake again...
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thanks martin and john, i will take on board what you said, i am glad that we can talk about these things on here as these subjects dont allways get discussed do they.
i did chat to some people on the way around the garden, and at the gala, when near clumps of snowdrops that stood out to me.
i think as we get older we become more confident anyway so i should remind myself of that.
still i think for now and the forseeable future i will be focussing on my breeding work with this addictive genus, and hopefully i will be able to share my results.
The breeding work sounds intriguing. Have you any specific aims?
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Sounds good - make sure you get the honey fragrance in there too!
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intresting to hear everyones opinions on this
and its nice to hear from a few younger members as well!
i hear what marks saying about you only have to be on a mailing list to get in, BUT thats not to say you can get into the club within a club if that makes sense? after all you have the elite snowdrop growers that allmost seem like they dont have enough time to talk to the amatues such as myself, im sure thats not the case but thats how it feels, exclusive.
ive not had the best upbringing which has left me with not the best communication skills, so i do tend to keep myself to myself, but that said i am a very polite person and i love to share what i have and if i can help people then i will do so.
im undecided if i will try any other snowdrop events, i do feel the gala has soured the hobby for me a bit
Edit by Maggi: So sorry you feel this way, Rob.....I hope the encouragement of the others here will cheer you up!
Rob, First of all can I say what a pleasure it is to see someone so young with an interest in plants you are a rarity who must be encouraged and treasured. Your experience reminds me of when I first started only a little older than you. I too come from a very modest background, a ghetto almost, not the place where people grow plants that you can't smoke. I struggled to become accepted at first but I stuck with it and grew my plants and because I was quite good at it people suddenly wanted to talk to me. I also showed a willingness to be involved and to help in anyway I could. I found myself on all sorts of commitees, running shows, organising plant sales, even lecturing at one stage and I have not changed one bit, I am what I am take it or leave it. I am now very involved with the Cyclamen society and have served 5 years as show secretary and been invited to take part in 3 expeditions and I am now involved with the research commitee. So stick with it Rob and you will find most people are friendly and genuine, there are a few who are not as in any walk of life but you don't need them, they are not as important as they think they are !. Good luck mate and don,t be put off by one bad experience you will have many better ones, promise. Pat